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Saturday, 2 September 2017

Dance of the She-Demons




Who isn’t familiar with this situation? You’re ht for each other, are finally both in the mod for sex – and what happens?  Your get into a fight, the cause is almost impossible to pinpoint, but the effect is: no sex. No doubt there are a few of those sneaky, often unconscious she-demons at worked here, awakened by the increase in sexual energy and now doing their little ‘Rumpelstilskin dance.’


The most common demons are probably the ones who are always droning on in the back of your mind, ‘You should be…. You ought to …. You can’t do that right now… You should have done this or that long ago.’ If you thing about it, you can probably find dozens of these sex-hostile lecturers. Identify them, express them in a way that harms neither you nor your partner, and then chase them out, away from your love nest!

Goal

Physically expressing your internal enemies of love so that you don’t have to use your strength to keep them in check and their energy doesn’t disrupt your love nest.


Time and external preparations

Five to ten minutes before and erotic encounter, a massage, or a ritual. It’s good idea to have a room big enough for dance and movement, without breakable objects, possibly with drum music playing in the background.

Step to step

v Stand up straight and close your eyes for a moment.

v Concentrate on your entire so-called negative (that is, disruptive) feelings and thoughts, even if they’re not as vehemently obvious as they were just yesterday. These include negative thoughts about yourself, about your partner, about relationship, about sex, and about life in general. Breathe deeply and increase your awareness of these thoughts, even if it feels unpleasant.

v Imagine that all of these thoughts and feelings are like small or large she-demons within you, demons that want to be noticed and that strive for expression. Then express them-press them out of you with movements, sounds, grimaces, etc. Allow yourself to make ugly twitching motions, squealing or grinding noises, horrible faces. Seek the extreme and express it. Dance the dance of the she-demons within you.


v Some demons give in quickly as soon as they are allowed to rage a little. Others are more persistent. Tell these that they need to calm down and that you’d like to be in a ‘demon-fee zone’ right now. After all, your conscious self is the authority of the hour, not the old, distressing ghosts of earlier time. Remind yourself that these she-demons are usually based on outdated patterns, and that you have the option to pay attention to them or send them away.

v If the she-demons provide you with important information, don’t discard the thoughts; instead, pack them into that famous five-star freezer in your imaginary refrigerator, the one standing next to your love nest that can keep your thoughts fresh until the next day. It is, however, recommended that in due course you really do take them out and think them through, so they don’t pile up and cause your refrigerator to explode on day – maybe right when you’re totally relaxed, just about to concentrate on your new lover in the here and now.

Creative ways to deal with stumbling blocks

The principle ‘Prevention is better than drilling’ (as one might hear at the dentist’s office ) counts here, too; it’s much better to clear up unfinished things – misunderstandings, conflicts, and unconscious sex-hostile norms – than to let yourself be tortured with persistent thoughts that drill into you during love games. Prevention, however, is never 100 percent effective, so make an effort to express (literally, to press out) whatever you can, and be generous with yourself if some things continue to stick.


Variations and suggestions


You can do this dance of the demons as a couple, too, as preparation for a love game, even if your demons are very different. If you don’t want to merely express your inner demons in order to integrate them, but would rather drive them out more effectively, you can try to do that by stopping your dance for a moment, picturing the most active demon as a real person, and asking it. It what it wants from you?  If it has demands you’d rather not fulfill, you will have to negotiate until you’ve found a solution that speaks for both of you. You can also try, without using words, to discover your own inner need that is hiding behind all the demon’s posturing (for example, being recognized in your own way or being important without expectations). If you are able to fulfill this need, you can transform the power of the demon into a force that will help you fulfill your deepest desires.

1 comment:

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