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Tuesday, 5 September 2017

Lesbian Celebration




Even though in many places the possibility has now opened up for two women to have a partnership that is officially recognized in the eyes of the law, this achievement still creates ambivalence in members of various lesbian circles – not just in the sense of rights and justice, but also from the perspective of political strategies – particularly, though, in the sense of the societal formalization of freely chosen love. More and more female couples, however, especially those in long-term relationships, long for acknowledgement and a ceremonial honoring of their love in a larger collective context, and make it sensual, if you please.


Goal

Collective recognition and celebration of a lesbian couple courageous enough to brave marriage.

Time and external preparations

At least a day; preferably two days. Ask close friends or relatives to help us as organizers. They will plan many of the steps with the two of you but will then take care of the details by themselves. Helper’s assignments might include selecting and practicing music, shopping for all the things that are needed. A really fun role is that of ritual mistress, who has the whole thing under control.
Step by step

1.    Inner and outer cleansing of the two women with each other.

The following are some ideas that might require a little preliminary experimentation:


v Individually of with your intended:  Showering, bathing with sensual bath oils, wastu ( water shiatsu in a warm swimming pool), rubbing lotion or oil on each other, shaking, and/or sweating (in a sauna or with all the interested parties together in a sweat lodge).

v  Saying farewell to any ant lesbian norms of the parents or other people close to the couple, to old relationship norms, to limiting lesbian-scene norms. You could write these things on scraps of paper and then burn them together.


v Making a mutual declaration that you are giving up old games that hurt the love of both parties.     

v If one or both still have unsettled accounts, performing a short ritual of apology and reconciliation, as well as a mutual promise that these old things will not be brought up again.


2.    Tuning in for the couple and the guests.

v The guests from two circles, one circle around each of the two women. The guests each share with her the feminine quality they most associate with her. The woman is strengthened by the collective mirroring of all her advantages and good qualities. Then she switches over into the other woman’s circle, and the other enters her circle and sits in the middle of it. Qualities central to her partner are embodied by each of the participants, this is, through movement or pantomime, gestures, or even clothing (after a break for getting changed), and finally with a collective dance of these qualities, In this way, she receives, without words, an impression of the possible kinds of qualities she will encounter in her partner, The she is allowed to ask for explanations and to be pampered by the group to strengthen her, according to her wishes. She is led back into her old circle, where her partner has been making her own discoveries.

v Body painting with body-friendly paints: Each member of the couple has her black painted by two to five women who have come to an agreement based on the woman’s instructions. They paint all kinds of symbols representing the things she would like to leave behind. After the paint has dried, her front side is painted with all the things she would like to express and cultivate in this relationship. When both women are finished being painted, they first perform the dance of the symbols on their backs, then the dance of their front sides. Then they perform a dance of integration with each other, one that develops spontaneously when they bring together their front and back qualities. Finally, everyone dances along in a free dance. If nakedness creates discomfort, the two can do the body painting exclusively with each other.


v One or two women who reradiate calm could help each partner with ceremonial dressing.

v The partners could give each other a gift. And maybe give a gift to each of the guests as well.


3.    Preparation for the main ritual.

v Clean air out and heat the room. Burn sage or similar leaves, spread scents, decorate.

v Draw a protective circle.


v Call upon the power, the four elements, the compass points, the above and below, and the middle.

v Call upon Tara or other helpful beings (e.g, the spirit of your grandmother or their ancestors.)


4.    Celebration ritual. Again, the following are just a few suggestions to get your started:

v Accompanied by singing or recorded music, the couple is led in, if possible from opposite sides of the room into the middle.

v The mistress of the ritual brings them together, lays their hands in each other’s symbolically binds their hands with a red cloth, and burns some incense. It doesn’t have to be the classic frankincense and myrrh, but essences they have tested out together in advance of that have been chosen by the ritual mistress. Alternatively, she could spray some scent on them. She speaks a few ceremonial words of recognition and admiration for them as a couple.


v Then the couple can read a text they have written or each give a short speech, and possibly make mutual promises to each other.

v The couple performs a symbolic gift exchange.


v They receive good wishes from everyone in the circle.

v The mistress leads the group in attuning everyone’s hearts. Use a short heart-breathing exercise, for example, or gently sway together.


v Everyone dances in front of or the couple and around them.

v Make an energy circle with pelvic thrusts directed toward the couple.


v Everyone could participate in ‘Waves of rapture’ with their energy directed toward the couple.

v Sing a joyful song.


v Release the powers, elements, beings.

v Honor the place.


v Ceremoniously remove the circle.

v Officially end the ritual.

5.    Reverberation and climax for the couple.

v Plan an evening meal.

v Make toasts to the future; share lesbian jokes and sayings that bring the whole thing back down to earth.


v During this time, the couple can disappear almost unnoticed to allow themselves a love ritual for just the two of them.


Creative ways to deal with stumbling blocks

The longer a ritual is, the more stumbling blocks can come up along your mutual path. The best way to overcome smaller as well as larger problems is with patience and humor.

Variations and suggestions

For ceremonies’ in a community of tantrikas (tantra-experienced or simply sensual, spirited, open women), all kinds of exercises and games from this book could be included in order to intensify the ritual and make it an unforgettable experience for everyone.



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